Refined over the last few months, and constantly evolving as my needs change, my ritual keeps me grounded, accountable, calm and ultimately empowered to live the life I want to live, not the life anxiety tells me I should lead.

Three months into my chemotherapy regime, whatever relationship we had left was dissolved without repair when he left me on my knees, bald and crippled with side effects, holding a 3 month old baby while a slightly older one screamed from her high chair.  I was begging him to stay - to help – but he stepped past me and straight through the door. 

Some attacks have been so severe I’ve ended up in hospital, others times it’s woken me in the middle of the night, prevented me from falling asleep entirely, greeted me when I wake in the morning and followed me around all day.